


Don't pretend

by smaragdbird



Category: The Terror (TV 2018)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Introspection, M/M, Religious Imagery & Symbolism
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-12
Updated: 2021-02-12
Packaged: 2021-03-12 13:34:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 688
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29385666
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/smaragdbird/pseuds/smaragdbird
Summary: Tozer shares Armitage's doubts about Hickey even if he doesn't say so
Relationships: Thomas Armitage/Solomon Tozer
Comments: 1
Kudos: 5
Collections: The Terror Rarepair Week 2021





	Don't pretend

When Armitage crawls into their tent that night, Tozer wonders if he should tell him. He doesn’t want to frighten him. Hickey, he’s not scared of gods or monsters, but Armitage and he, they are normal men. 

In the perpetual twilight of an artic summer night, Armitage looks ethereal, half a ghost already. Perhaps he’s right, no Tozer knows he’s right. Their best chance is to ditch the boat and return to the ships as quickly as possible. Who knows what Hickey’s planning, but Tozer knows it’s not that. 

Yet, still he follows because if they turn and run, what if the creature gets them? What if it does to Armitage what it did to Heather and to Collins? Devour his soul, rob him of finding paradise? If he hadn’t seen what he’s seen…but he has.

Tozer doubts that any of them will make it out alive, but perhaps their souls can still be saved. 

Armitage hesitates but, in the end, he lies down next to Tozer as he always does. Tozer winds an arm around his waist and pulls him close until Armitage’s back rests against his chest. He squeezes his eyes shut to keep the tears from falling into Armitage’s curly hair when he buries his face in it.

His wife, his Caroline, had died shortly before he had gotten the orders for this expedition. At the time, a year’s journey to the desolate Arctic had seemed appropriate in his mind, equally bereft of all life. And then, before they had left Beechey Island, he and Armitage had gone hunting together. Armitage had shot a bird and he had laughed, had turned to Tozer with hazel eyes bright like the first green of spring and it had felt as if the world had turned to colour again.

His arm tightens around Armitage’s waist. He knows that Armitage doesn’t understand why he’s doing what he’s doing. Why he’s dismissing Armitage’s opinion, why he’s following Hickey. 

Before the attack on camp, before he’s seen what the monster does to its prey, he had wanted to live, had wanted them to live. Return to England, get Armitage into the marines and then they could serve together. Somewhere warm perhaps. 

If he’s had the choice now, he’d take them far away from the sea. Return to the simple, god-fearing life that his parents had intended for him. They had been proud of him when he had become apprenticed to the local carpenter, the same profession as their lord and saviour. He had only left after they had died, nothing keeping him in his hometown anymore and he had found camaraderie and friendship among his fellow marines. 

Perhaps this is god’s way of showing him that he’s strayed from the path. Or to teach him that true salvation lies not in keeping himself and his men alive, but in keeping their souls from the fires of hell, or whatever eternal damnation that creature has instore for them.

“Sol?” Armitage’s hand covers his, rough from work. They could build a house if they escaped from here, he and Armitage, and lead a life in the grace of god. “if you think Hickey’s plan is the best…I trust you.”

The weight of Armitage’s loyalty threatens to choke him. His men trusted him, too, and this is where he led them; caught between a demon from hell and a mad man. 

Tozer doesn’t trust himself to speak, so he tangles their fingers together and holds on tightly. Armitage’s breathing evens out and he leans heavy against Tozer’s chest. He eases back a little, lets him turn on his back and watches his face in the twilight.

Armitage stopped shaving weeks ago, and while Tozer misses the sight of his cheeks and his full lips, the lush beard is a sign that Armitage is still healthy. 

Maybe Hickey had the right idea when he killed Gibson even if he didn’t do it for the right reasons. Sickness and hunger are trivial compared to what they’re facing, but Tozer hopes that, when the beast corners them, he can kill Armitage before the creature does.


End file.
